To Be Grateful
As I stood standing in line for gum today, the man behind me offered a smile and I smiled back. Gum seems to ease my anxiety. The lady in front of us seemed to be having trouble with her transaction and so, small talk naturally developed. He clutched a king sized candy bar in his hand and he jokingly offered me half (or at least the larger of the two), chuckling as he rubbed his belly. He indicated that I’d be doing him a service by sharing it with him, again, pointing at his belly. I told him he could always freeze the other half and his smile dimmed. He softly confessed he was living out of his car (no freezer except for the one that mother nature will be providing during tomorrows icy rain storm). It’s crazy how we run into so many people in our daily lives. Waitresses we don’t hug, colleagues we pass by, Facebook posts of people complaining or bragging about this or that or even the homeless man on the corner slumped over his cardboard sign. Sure, we see them but life gets in the way and I for one didn’t even notice his scruffy shoes or his unkempt beard and an odor vaguely tinged of wet towels or leaves…or something like that. I felt helpless. My anxiety rose. I unraveled my gum. I smiled harder. I leaned over for a hug.
Sometimes, when I’m cloaked in the darkness, tangled in my fuzzy blanket, with my phone humming Chopin to lull me to sleep, I marvel at the fine possibility of a hot shower after a stick-to-your-ribs meal shared with brilliant company and feel so blessed that my heart feels like it will explode (and I wonder why I have such anxiety, haha). What I mean to say is that there’s just so much to be grateful for. You and I aren’t living out of our cars with an almond joy as our sole sustenance and if ever you feel lonely, please know that a certain squishy monster is only a click away.
I am most grateful to my lovely family. You are my everything.
Your Squishy Monster ^.~